Hello and Goodbye
by Setsuna-X
Summary: Somewhat Ianto character analysis and his love for Jack. Ianto/Jack slash. Spoilers for season 1 & 2
1. Chapter 1

"**Hello and Goodbye"  
**_By: Setsuna-X_

**Summary: **Somewhat Ianto character analysis and his love for Jack.  
**Pairing:** Ianto Jones/Captain Jack Harkness  
**Warning:** Spoilers for seasons 1 &amp; 2 of Torchwood  
**Disclaimer: **Torchwood and its characters do not belong to me. I receive no royalties or credit for anything, except this work of fiction. 

It wasn't easy, this weird relationship he has with Jack.

The first time Ianto laid eyes on the infamous Captain Jack Harkness, he knew he was done for. The man had a strong chin, glimmering blue eyes, and a coat to die for.

This attraction hurt.

After Torchwood London, he needed to work in another institution that had the same access to advance and alien technologies. Only then would he be able to save his girlfriend, Lisa.

And he loved Lisa, with all his heart. But his heart bled whenever he thought about that roguish smile that made up Jack's face.

The second time he saw Jack he begged. He was willing to do _anything_ for the job. Cook, clean, launder the fabulous coat – he just needed to work for Torchwood again.

Of course, Jack turned him down.

The third time Ianto saw Jack was more of an accident really. He had his own Rift-Analyzer, from the London building, and tracked the rift-activity to the warehouse. He knew sooner or later Jack would arrive, or maybe even one of his employees. Either way he needed to get his foot in the door.

After their brief adventure with the Pterodactyl and they rolled around the ground, laughter ringing in the air, Ianto felt the most shame he had ever in his life.

Jack's "love the suit" quip was the last thing he needed to hear before the tears came gushing from his eyes. He really felt that he had betrayed Lisa. When he was with Jack he felt more alive than he had since Lisa's partial cyberman transformation, and it made him feel guilty.

He had no right to laugh and smile and seek human comfort while Lisa was struggling to maintain her humanity.

And to make it worse, he actually felt a genuine attraction to Jack Harkness. It started off as a game, and Ianto had lost badly.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The days soon morphed into months and soon he was a well trusted member of the Torchwood-Cardiff staff. He'd make the coffee and tea in the morning, order lunch in the afternoon, and do the clean-up once everyone except Jack left for the day.

He was like a ghost, a genuine butler, who only appeared when needed or summoned. He never felt like one of the team, and in actuality he felt no grief when Suzy died and was replaced by Gwen. She was just another person that he had to learn the habits of in order to tip-toe around better.

Every free moment that he felt where he could steal away he would be down in the sub-basement with Lisa. He would monitor her heart and brainwaves as he stayed in contact with Dr. Tanizaki regarding his upcoming visit to Torchwood.

During this entire production Ianto wasn't sure why he felt guilty every moment he would go and meet Lisa. If anything, it should have been the other way around. But every time he went to her, it was Jack in his thoughts. Most were the concerns that he would get caught, but if he was completely honest with himself, it was more about the extra lingering seconds Jack spent looking at him, it was the secret smile that Jack would send his way or the wink every now and then after Ianto passed him his morning coffee.

The meaningless flirtations were driving Ianto crazy. Did Jack just do those things reflexively or was he just messing with him on purpose, or maybe he actually meant it? These thoughts would swim around Ianto's mind, and if he didn't focus on Lisa, he was sure to go insane.

And then the team found out about Lisa and everything changed.

After Lisa's death, Jack held him and kissed him. He hadn't felt that kind of warmth from anyone since that fateful night in the warehouse. Ianto knew then that Jack was who he wanted. The question begged to differ, did Jack want him back?

It was hard to see Jack with Gwen. Ianto's previous butler status had earned him an ability to be able to sneak around the HUB more easily and quietly than the others believed. Having had Lisa hidden away he ensured he knew every secret or hidden passage throughout the area.

During one his routine walks through the HUB, Ianto caught Gwen and Jack in an embrace. It was hard to see, but he knew he had to find out what would happen next. They hugged for a while and it looked as if they whispered into each other's ears. Ianto was too far to make out what was being said, but Gwen looked confused and guilty as she fled. Ianto turned away, his heart hurting as it did whenever he thought of Lisa.

Later, Jack died.

Everyone wanted to open the rift, but they needed Jack's eye scanned in order to do it. Jack wouldn't listen, didn't even try to listen, and Owen shot him right through the head.

Ianto could feel the world collapsing under his feet. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't blink. All he could do was replay that moment over and over in his head. The bullet shooting out of the gun, the loud 'crack' in the air as the trigger was pulled, the smell of something burning hitting his nose, and the clean little hole that went right through Jack's head, blood spilling out slowly.

He had cradled Jack's head and held on, as if it was his own life slipping away.

Then again, it might as well have been. Jack had been his rock after the thing with Lisa, and in all of Torchwood Ianto felt the closest with Jack. Everyone else would tip-toe around him as if he was made of glass, but it was Jack who listened to him and who treated him like a person wallowing in grief, but trying to overcome it.

He cradled Jack's rapidly cooling body, and screamed and cried at Owen, still unable to believe what had just happened.

Once the rift opened, Ianto felt a stirring in his arms. He looked down in time to see Jack open his eyes wide and take a gulping breath.

Ianto could feel his brain shutting down a second time.

Did Jack just come back from the dead?

He was pretty sure that he had been shot through the head, but maybe that never happened? Suddenly there was too much going on and they needed to evacuate the HUB.

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

They made their way into the city where Bilis showed up and released Abaddon.

Jack looked to Gwen and asked for her help alone. Ianto could feel the pang in his chest worsen.

When Gwen called them, Jack was dead…again.

But it didn't look like there would be a miracle revival this time. Gwen waited for hours, but Ianto couldn't bear looking at that pale, unmoving face. He went to Jack's office and reacquainted himself with Jack's belongings. He hugged himself in Jack's chair and ran his fingers along the wooden desk, hoping to catch a glimmer of the man he once knew.

And then he heard some commotion going on outside the office.

Jack was alive.

Ianto couldn't believe his eyes, but it wasn't enough to freeze him in place. He walked as fast as he could and Jack waited for him with open arms.

There was a kiss to his cheek and once they pulled away, a passionate kiss on his lips. Nothing had ever tasted as good as that kiss did.

It was hard to look at Owen for a while, but once Jack forgave him it looked like everyone else forgave him too. Ianto was just so happy to have Jack back that he didn't have time to think about what Owen had done.

Things settled for a couple of hours. They were busy celebrating, but when they went back to get Jack he was gone.

A knife twisted in his stomach once more, and it was several months before he was able to see Jack again.

Jack came back again. He won't tell anyone, not even Ianto where he was. The whole group looked for him the first two months. However, Ianto continued to look for him, but never had any luck. All he would answer was that he had found his 'Doctor' – whatever that meant.

But if it isn't one thing it's another.

Now there's this guy called Captain John Hart. Everyone traced Jack to this recently evacuated night club to find it completely destroyed. Then to make it worse Jack and John were also passionately making out, after being in some sort of fight.

The group put their guns away as Jack commanded, but Ianto just wanted to shoot John anyway. After finding out that they were practically married for a number of years kind of just spurred that feeling.

It was hard seeing Jack again though. It was like every time Ianto was with the man he had to worry that he'll never see him again. In this aspect, dating Lisa was easier. At least then, he knew where he could find her.

Ianto wanted to be mad at Jack, but he was just relieved to see him again, yet it didn't make things easier.

Jack had no qualms about leaving and he even said he would leave again, given the opportunity, and that had hurt. Do they, does he, mean so little?

But Ianto still wanted to be with Jack. It wasn't the physical attraction that he had when they first met, but something more deep and profound. He really just wanted to be with Jack. He wanted to be with him at night, in his arms. He wanted to be with him after a hard day at work, or even had lunch out by the river walk. Anything he could take he would as long as he could be with Jack.

And then it happened.

_TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

While searching for the bomb pieces that John Hart had partially located, Jack finally opened up to Ianto.

Ianto soaked it up like a flower seeking the sun. Jack had apologized for his disappearance and had asked him out on a proper date.

Things were finally slotting into place. Ianto walked away with a grin on his face. He knew what Jack was leading up to, but he wasn't going to make it easy for the man. Jack had left and still didn't offer any sort of explanation, but Ianto couldn't find it in himself to stay mad for long.

When the group split up to the three different bomb locations and Jack wanted to be paired with him instead of John, Ianto was ecstatic. With everything going on, first chasing that fish-headed alien and then meeting at the bar, he hadn't had a chance to be alone with Jack.

The scent of him filled Ianto's senses and he hadn't realized just how much he had missed the coat until he saw it draped over those strong shoulders once more.

Ianto searched through several of the desks and file cabinets as he heard Jack stutter his way through a date invite. It was cute and endearing and Ianto could feel a nice warmth go through his body.

Here was this man, this _Casanova_, who could probably go out and have whomever he wanted and he was stuttering trying to ask him out, trying to ask out Ianto the butler.

It made Ianto giddy and he couldn't help but mess with Jack a bit. After disappearing for four months, it was the least he could put the other man through.

Yet after the date was agreed upon Jack fled to the roof and that John man had threatened Ianto. He knew he had to go and help the others because whoever John was, he didn't look like a man to play around with threats.

* * *

Once John was sent back through some kind of time rift (Ianto wasn't too sure on the particulars), he said something that had left Jack stunned. It took a few minutes to snap Jack out of it.

"_Oh, and I found Gray…"_

Those were the last words that John Hart had uttered right before disappearing.

'Gray what? A gray gun, a gray horse? Who or what is Gray?' thought Ianto to himself. There wasn't much that he knew about Jack and in all his talks a 'Gray' was never mentioned.

Once they got Jack moving they all piled into the SUV and headed back to the HUB. Upon arrival everyone just glanced at one another then back at Jack. It was pretty clear that John had said something earth-shattering that Jack was still trying to process.

"I'll make some coffee," offered Ianto as he headed to their small kitchenette area.

Everyone else just mumbled their thanks as they headed to the couches by the desk areas.

"Are you okay, Jack?" asked Gwen, voicing everyone's concern for their fearless leader. They had never seen Jack that way before. It was as if his skin turned three shades lighter when he heard those words.

Ianto tinkered at the machine, opting to making just simple coffee for everyone. He wanted to be by Jack's side as support.

Jack took in a deep breath then exhaled loudly.

"Look, just forget everything that's happened. John is a person of my past that I desperately want to forget. Yes, we had some great times together, but those are now faded memories. After I left, I realized that my place is with you, with this team," Jack said this as he looked at everyone separately, his eyes lingering on Ianto and Gwen. "I don't want to start digging up a past that is better left forgotten. It has no basis on what we're doing here and now – let's focus on that."

Gwen tried to interrupt, but Jack held out a hand.

"Now we have all had a trying day and should head home for some sleep and rest. Gwen, I'm sure Rhys has been waiting over 2 hours for you to get home. Go to him. Go home all of you, and get some rest. I expect to see you all bright and early tomorrow."

Ianto took all the coffee he made and transferred it into travel mugs, leaving his and Jack's mug untouched. Jack crossed his arms and glared at Owen, Tosh, and Gwen, waiting for them to slink away home.

"But Jack.." started Gwen once more.

"No, go home Gwen. I'll see you in the morning," said Jack as he held onto Gwen's shoulders, cutting her off.

Gwen followed Tosh and Owen out, grabbing her mug of coffee with a soft 'thank you'. Once the door closed and the alarms shut off did Ianto move from the kitchenette toward Jack.

"Coffee?"

* * *

_TBC_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Ianto wasn't sure what to expect, but having Jack collapse on him with his arms wrapped over his shoulders was not it. For the moment Ianto struggled with the sudden weight, but soon adjusted himself and held Jack closer.

"Are you okay, Jack?" Ianto whispered in Jack's ear, stroking the wide expanse of Jack's back.

"Just… just hold me for a little while," Jack managed to say, uttering into Ianto's shoulder.

Ianto curled his arms tighter, offering his silent support.

Several seconds passed in silence when Jack suddenly broke away.

"Thanks. So, about that coffee?"

Ianto just stood there, staring at Jack in slight disbelief. He knew that Jack was pulling away. "Jack…" began Ianto.

"Please, just… not tonight. Coffee?" questioned Jack, not making eye contact as he moved his way to the kitchenette. Jack wrapped his hands over the warm mug and brought it to his lips, taking a taste. "Perfect, just what I needed." Jack then made his way around Ianto and headed back to his office.

Ianto just watched him go. He knew how it was to hide a secret, and he also knew the damage holding a secret in could cause. Ianto wasn't about to let Jack do the same thing. He made his way over and grabbed his own mug then headed straight after Jack.

Jack was seated at his desk, pretending to look through papers, but Ianto could tell that his mind was elsewhere.

"So this is an interesting start," Ianto said off-handedly.

"Hm? What?"

"This. This thing between me and you," Ianto said as he gestured between them with his free hand. Jack looked up from his desk.

"I don't follow."

Ianto released a small, self-depreciating sigh. "There is something bothering you. Something to do with 'Gray'," Ianto ignored the flinch and continued, "and you won't tell me about it, you don't let me help you."

"It's not your concern," Jack said harshly, his tone sharp and a bit angry.

"What if I want it to be?" Jack opened his mouth to reply, but Ianto wouldn't let him speak. "No, look. You asked me out on a date and I know we had something going on before then, before _us_ became official. And now that we're trying to start something, you want to stop it in its tracks? Can't you just talk to me, tell me a little about you?" Ianto finished off, a flush creeping along his pale neck.

Jack looked at Ianto intently. There was so much about his life that he kept to himself, so many secrets about his past, and even more secrets about the future. But this was too personal to share. He would rather tell Ianto about his past wife or that one time when he had sex with his jailer, anything but talk about Gray.

"I'm sorry, I am," said Jack. He could see that Ianto wanted to interrupt, but he held out his hand and stemmed off any comment the other man would make. "Let me get my head around this first, and I do want to be with you, Ianto. Just give me some time," Jack said as sincerely as he could, but he knew he was lying through his teeth.

Ianto seemed to believe it, or at least, let it go for the night.

He took a sip of his coffee. "So, you and John?" prompted Ianto, changing the conversation. He could immediately see the tension drain away from Jack's shoulders.

Jack groaned as he brought his hands over his face.

"That's what you want to talk about?" questioned Jack into his palms.

Ianto just snickered as he made his way behind Jack, placing his mug softly onto the desk.

"Maybe I just want to see if I can be better company than Captain John Hart?" Ianto whispered hotly into Jack's ear.

Jack whirled around in his chair and wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist. "Oh, I'm sure you will be," he answered with a sharp, sultry grin.

"I still have that stop-watch."

Jack just let out a laugh as he hugged Ianto tighter.

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was several hours later that they finally went to sleep. Jack had been gone for a few months and Ianto had remained faithful. He had hope that Jack would come back to them, and his wish was granted. Ianto wasn't so sure whether Jack remained abstinent or not during their time apart, and Ianto decided he didn't really want the answer to that.

It was a funny feeling, really, to be back where they started. They rolled around on the bed, Jack pinning Ianto into the mattress, Ianto's arms stretched over his head. They had laughed and kissed and it was all so wonderful.

Everything was different when Jack was around. When he was with Lisa, well, he was the 'man' of the relationship. He planned their dates, was dominate in bed, but it reversed with Jack. It was odd – Ianto wasn't used to having someone else take care of him. He had always been a very capable kind of man. He basically took care of the HUB, made sure everyone was watered and fed, was able to track rift activity and even went on ground missions with the rest of Torchwood. Yes, he was definitely a very capable person.

However, with Jack he was able to put most of that aside. He let Jack take care of him, bring him pleasure as well as a midnight snack if the crave hit. The feeling of being taken care of was new to him, but he embraced it wholeheartedly.

The next morning Ianto woke up to find himself alone. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but he had hoped that on the night of their reunion he would be able to wake up next to Jack.

'It's silly,' Ianto tried telling himself, but the feeling would not subside.

After finishing his morning routine and dressed in a clean suit did Ianto take the time to go look for Jack. A pot of coffee was brewing at the moment, filling the small kitchenette with a refreshing smell. First place Ianto looked for Jack was in his office. He was actually surprised that Jack wasn't there. After a bit of thought, Ianto made his way outside by the dock. The sky was clear for once, the sun a bit brighter than necessary and a warm breeze wafted through.

Jack was standing against the fence, overlooking the water. Ianto could tell that his mind was elsewhere; probably on 'Gray'. However, Ianto knew better than to bring it back up. He hated to see that shuttered look on Jack's face and there were plenty of other stories that Jack could tell about himself.

Ianto walked over and leaned over the railing as well, his elbow touching Jack's.

Jack startled, surprised that Ianto found him.

"Thought you'd be looking all over the HUB still," Jack remarked, still overlooking the gentle waves.

"I know you too well for that," causually remarked Ianto.

It wasn't so casual for Jack though. His eyes grew wider as he turned his head to take in his lover.

"I'm not sure whether to be flattered or scared," said Jack, trying to sound like he was joking.

"Take it as a compliment. I like looking at you."

Jack smiled as he placed an arm around Ianto and dragged him in for a hug. "I really like _looking_ at you too," Jack whispered heatedly into Ianto's ear.

Ianto's mouth became a grin. "Don't leave so early next time, Jack."

Jack's smile left his face, but his arm tightened around Ianto's shoulders. "I know, I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep anymore."

"It's alright," muttered Ianto. And it really was. This wasn;t the first time that Jack had woken early, usually from a nightmare, and left in search of someplace else.

"The others will be here soon," said Jack as he turned his eyes away from Ianto and focused on the sky.

"Would you like me to leave?" Ianto questioned.

"No, just..well, I am a bit hungry," grumbled Jack as his stomach answered the same way. Ianto let out a laugh as he escaped from under Jack's arm.

"I shall prepare something then. Coffee is almost done," Ianto turned to walk back inside.

"Ianto," called out Jack as his hand caught the crook of Ianto's elbow, turning the other man around.

Jack planted a kiss onto Ianto's lips. "Thanks," he whispered as he let go of his arm.

"No problem," Ianto replied as he turned around and headed into the HUB with a smile on his face.

Ianto knew that Jack wanted some more time by himself, but that he had appreciated Ianto's small interlude this morning. It was so easy to get wrapped in thoughts and memories that sometimes a distraction is necessary and welcomed.

Once inside Ianto began to reflect on this new chapter of his life. Working for Torchwood-Cardiff seemed like the thing to do after the disaster over at Torchwood London. After learning about all the wonders of the universe it was hard to want to go back to a normal, ignorant life. The choice to not only work for Torchwood, but to embark on a relationship with Jack was akin to signing his life away. There was no guarantee he would survive to see the next day, but in the mean time, the risk was damn well worth it.

Ianto knew that being with Jack would not be easy, but it wasn't as if that was what he was searching for either. Jack had his secrets, just as Ianto had his. The only thing he could do is continue to be by his side. He knew he wanted to be with Jack. And it wasn't really men he was interested in… it was just…him.

Just Jack.

_**END**_


End file.
